I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
