Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
