she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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