Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
