Little spoons don't ask big questions
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
