I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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