its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
