vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
