If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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