Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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