I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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