the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
