There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
