just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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