Define "chronic" masturbator.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
