I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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