My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
