I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
