So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
