So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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