I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
