Im at strip club and am horny
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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