i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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