she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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