his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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