i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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