spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
