I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
