He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
