I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
