He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
