I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
