Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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