Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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