So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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