There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
