so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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