whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Randomize
