You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
