What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
