mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
