She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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