They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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