You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
