so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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