I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Pooping to opera.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
