hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
