I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
