If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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