i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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